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Monday, July 2, 2012

Eternal Eden- Nicole Williams

Bryn is forever alone (pardon my meme). She has no parents and is a social pariah at her obscure college in Oregon. The one day, a new transfer student shows up named William Winters. In spite of her objections and denial, there is an instant spark between Bryn and the new students. Even though every instinct warns her away, Bryn ends up falling in love with William. However, William may not be from the same world as her. Bryn must decide what she will sacrifice in order to spend the rest of her life with the man she loves.


Overall Merit: The only thing that might be worse than Twilight (I don't know why I even italicize; Twilight isn't a real book), is a terrible knockoff of Twilight. This book screams Edward and Bella so loudly that my ears almost shriveled up and fell off. If I listed all the similarities, it would take all night. Maybe the only difference is that Bryn has a bit of a backbone and she's slightly more interesting than Bella. Slightly. The only reason this book doesn't quite get a 0 is because at least Williams made a very minor effort to create something new whereas Meyer took a preexisting idea and threw glitter on it. Also, Williams' writing was a bit tighter in terms of technical skill. Score- 2

Characters: William is overbearing and protective and one day decides to leave because it's "for Bryn's own good". Bryn throws herself into the ocean...jeez where have I heard that before? I'm sorry for the spoilers, but to be honest you shouldn't even be reading this book. Also, of course there's a love rival named Paul who shows up out of nowhere and decides to be madly in love with Bryn. Cough Jacob Cough. The antagonist is predictable and to be honest, stupid. In fact, Bryn is stupid too, since she doesn't catch onto something that is basically stabbing her in the face and screaming at her at the same time. Like it's fine that she's stupid, but apparently she got into Harvard, Stanford, etc. NO. Bryn is an idiot. She should be going to community college. Score- 1

Blush Factor: Don't give me that "I want to wait for marriage bullsh**". Come on. Stop copying Stephenie. PLEASE. The romance in this book is annoying. By the time I got to the middle of the book I was like, "If William uses the word 'temptress' one more time I'm going to go into the book and run him through with a machete". Saying 'temptress' a million times is not sexy. Hell, it's not even sexy the first time. Vixen is a sexier word by far. Or how about minx? I don't know. Something else. I beg you, Nicole. Not to mention: What the BLOODY HELL is with all these guys being like 'I won't have sex until I find the one'? That is crap. Boys like to have sex. Girls like to have sex. No guy is going to wait hundreds of years to have sex, even if the Council orders it. Score- 0 (There is nothing wrong with sex and if you're writing a romance novel about anyone over the age of 17, it's pretty much inevitable.)

Structure: Look at that, another similarity. First person Bryn. Um my bad, first person Bella. The world is horribly structured. I give this book a minor kudo (one kudo, not kudos) because I thought it was interesting that she made the immortals in this book responsible for all the natural disasters in the world. A decent concept. Not great, but decent. Everything else about  the world was crud. Why the Hell would anyone waste so much time making sure that people stayed virgins? I need to do research on this lady, but if she's religious too that would explain a lot. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a sex fiend, and there isn't a place for sex in every book, I accept that, but if you bring up the subject then it needs to be addressed. Score-1

Plot: What plot? Seriously, where is the plot? Oh right, Bryn and William try in desperation to find a way to be together even though the council forbids it. Sound familiar? Then William spirits Bryn away to live with his family, which consists of couples that are eerily reminiscent of Rosalie, Emmet, Jasper, and Alice...wow who would have thought? How creative. And then there's some weird prophecy nonsense that shows up at the end. Yea, maybe Williams should have mentioned that sooner? Maybe then there would be some semblance of a plot. No? Score- 0

Vervain says: "Something very imaginative that Williams does is she gives each immortal a special talent. Just like all of Stephenie Meyer's vampires!"

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